Hangovers must be contagious. When I awoke at 7, I was the only person on Facebook with a hangover. Now that the day has proceeded, there are six friends with status updates that bemoan their alcohol induced agonies, and presumably more who are still lurking under duvets and groaning at the pain of daylight. Beyond the obvious ‘why do we do it’ question, I can’t really come up with anything exciting to say about this subject since it has only just occurred to me. Oh well, that’s life. I bet you wish you hadn’t invested your time in reading the above now, don’t you, dear reader? It hasn’t enriched your life, it hasn’t enriched my life, it hasn’t even got rid of my hangover. It was futile, pointless and – have you noticed how a headache makes you feel that everything is pointless.
At some point, the millions of dear readers who don’t exist and definitely don’t read this, will complain to trading standards about posts like this. Not only does it induce apathy and frustration but it doesn’t do what it says on the tin. For a start, the term ‘newsflash’ brings to mind the momentous, sudden update of vital news in this information driven society of ours. Up there with the invasion of Afghanistan, the death of Jim Callaghan, 9/11 and 7/7, this ‘newsflash’ is lacking in every vital component:
- There is no new information being imparted.
- It is not up-to-the-minute or accurate.
- No drumrolls or trumpet parps preceded it.
- And frankly, the whole idea of ‘flash’ is far too bright a suggestion for me at the moment.
So, pending a future public apology to all the non-existent people who read this, and a pledge to clean up my act, not do this sort of thing in the future, and if I do, to resign my blogging position forthwith, this inane ramble of a post comes to an end.
